The Myth of Holding On
No one who ever received something blessed from God's hand ever did so by holding onto it by their own will, strength, or manipulation. It came because of an eventual letting go to God's hand made possible by a God-given trust in His perfect will.
When I desire something strongly, there is this sinful refusal, a wrestling, to acknowledge my dependence on God's will. A refusal to accept that God's will is perfect, and mine is not. Acknowledging what is already true (that God is in control and I am not) means that I have to become vulnerable and means that I have to step out in faith because I'm not sure where God's path will lead. It means that I have to acknowledge that there is no guarantees except in God's promises to do what is absolutely the best for me and what will give Him the most glory, which are one and the same. That's uncomfortable.
Losses and broken hearts can cause deep fear and insecurities. After experiencing hurt, our flesh cries out even more for control, safety, and guarantees. It causes even more denial that sin exists and marks everything; that the only perfect thing is God and everything (everyone) else has been touched by our sin nature and will disappoint and will bring hurt. That I will inevitably hurt and disappoint myself and others. When my heart is dwelling in the wrong place, it causes me to tremble in fear when I know that I have no choice but to let go and step out in blind faith. To risk. To do what is so contrary to our flesh.
This gift feels fragile; I'm afraid and I'd like to preserve it. I'd like to wrap it up and shield it from destruction. I'd like a guarantee that it will never break and cut me. I'd like to believe that my holding it close in my human and equally fragile arms will guarantee that outcome. But in holding it close I take away the opportunity to see God's hand crafted plan show me my own weakness and His perfect, Fatherly strength. I take away the opportunity to see God's beautiful plan unfold and be worked out despite my past, my fears, my insecurities, my weaknesses, and my undeservedness. The myth of holding on robs me of opening my hands and my heart and surrendering. It robs me of seeing God for who He is and worshiping Him in Spirit and truth (John 4:24). It robs me of exercising faith.
In the waking and the realization that comes from studying Who God really is, His truth wins because truth says that my surrender is the safest place I could ever and will ever be. His truth says that His plans for me are perfect and that the work He begun will carry on. (Jeremiah 29:11, Philippians 1:6) Truth asks me to look back upon all God's past faithfulness and not to doubt now. Truth promises that when I let go I am building a firm foundation on Christ instead of on me and upon what I value. Truth promises true beauty found in God's perfect design. Truth promises God-written stories. Truth promises the blessing of watching God work. Truth promises perfect security where once there was insecurity and fear. Truth promises true rest.
Truth dispels myths.